Shock Factor
After my boyfriend broke up with me I started having sex with a lot of different guys. I don't think it's a revenge thing or any kind of self esteem issue, it's just nice to have my freedom after dating so long and it's fun to be with someone new all the time. My friend Rachel got dumped about the same time I did and we've been out together many times picking up men at trendy clubs. People always throw phrases like "finding yourself" around, but I've discovered many things about my sexual preferences from my recent love affairs.
I got tired of the bar scene very fast, but I tolerated it because it was the only way I knew how to find hot guys. I know I will never get tired of bringing a stud home for a night of passion. I can't imagine settling for an older man, unless he was in incredible shape. I get off on making a guy work hard to please me and if he doesn't have exceptional strength and stamina I won't have a good time. My selection process isn't really age discrimination; it's just easier to find what I like in a younger man.
I was the first to discover an Internet dating service of any of my friends. I tried it because I wanted to cut down the time I'd have to spend in a bar. It was very easy, all I had to do was set up two dates online, one for Rachel and one for me. I'd drag Rachel to the bar I arranged to meet the guys at and let everything happen naturally from then on. I didn't tell her what was going on and the first few times she didn't suspect a thing.
It was hilarious to listen to her talk about how lucky we'd been at the bars lately and how she thought it was all because she had bought a new push up bra. I couldn't help but laugh every time she mentioned it, and it seemed normal because she thought I was laughing at how shallow guys could be.
She was very good about the whole thing when she eventually found out we'd been dating men from the internet, but only because the guys I'd been setting her up with were all gorgeous. She was just as sick of the bar scene as I was and since then we've gone on double dates to restaurants and theatres. It is way more fun and it saves time. We've even started going out together during the week because there are too many men in our lives.
If I didn't use the calendar program on my computer I don't think I would be able to keep all the names and dates straight. It's amazing how complicated juggling three or four men at once can be, especially when we do so much double dating and we have to remember if the guys have met one another or not. We haven't messed up yet, but it would be embarrassing to have one of Rachel's dates see me with two different guys in the same week, and vice versa.
Lately I've been getting more daring with public sex. I love the thrill of fucking on my balcony or late at night in a public park. The last few times I tried having sex in a park I was only able to give a blowjob to the guy I was with because someone walking by interrupted us. I haven't been completely caught by anyone yet (at least as far as I know), but every time there's a close call I get incredibly wet and have awesome sex as soon as I can find a proper place to be alone with a guy. I never thought I would ever be into something like that, I've always been sort of shy when it comes to sex.
I think it has a lot to do with the person I'm with. I like it a lot better with someone new. I enjoy having a guy freak out when I do something bold. I've had a couple of boyfriends that I did it with a little too often and they grew to sort of expect it. I dumped them because of it. If it's not exciting then it's just not sexy. On the double dates with Rachel I've started doing things for her benefit and I've found that it turns me on more than anything. I've got her hooked on it too. We do our best to shock each other's dates and we've progressed to seeking out guys we think will be the most surprised. I suspect we will someday end up fucking each other's dates. We haven't talked about it but I'm sure it will happen.
My life is great right now and the only thing that troubles me is I think I want to settle down. Fucking shy men is fun but it's not the best way to look for a husband. I might have to compromise a little for that goal, but I'm not going to worry about it for a few years. I'm still finding myself.
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